I am 28. White. A Female. And a former Peace Corps Volunteer. I am HIV Positive. This is my story of how a few months, a few people, and a few events in Zambia changed me and my life forever. This is the story of how I contracted HIV and brought my Peace Corps Journey to a crashing halt... and how I am working now to pick up and put back together the pieces of my life as a newly diagnosed person living with HIV. This was not the journey I had originally planned... my path has traumatically and dramatically changed... but it is the one I am on now. There is no going back. There is only forward. I welcome you to follow along with me as I attempt to explore this new life ahead of me, whether you are someone from the Peace Corps community, or someone living with HIV. I welcome your comments, questions, suggestions, and opinions. Let us go forward together. To start from the beginning, click here He Gave Me More Than A Bracelet.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Is this my punishment?
For all of my judgment?
For all those years
that I looked at girls,
thinking, "Gosh, what sluts."
How can they always sleep around?
A constant rotation of hook-ups and going outs.
I'm better than that.
I'm not promiscuous.
I've only had 2 boyfriends ever-
Okay, let me add 1 more and make it 3.
Now it's me that has HIV.
I listened to their stories and banter,
listing different guys each night of the week...
"I even did one in the back of a canter!"
I silently scoff and roll my eyes.
Thinking, "These girls are gonna get sick."
It's me that HIV picked.
I hear them admit that they're not always safe.
I think, "Gosh, how could they?"
But I sure hope they'll be okay.
Later on, I use my condoms.
I'm smarter than them.
something goes wrong
and somehow it's me that has the + test come along.
There's no clear answers.
This must be my Punishment.
For all of my Judgment.