After launching this blog to the Peace Corps community only a few days ago, I am overwhelmed and overjoyed by the number of readers and positive responses I’ve received. Sharing my story in this way has lifted a burden off of my heart and given me a freedom and joy that I have not felt in months. As I’ve experienced the power of sharing my story to pure strangers, it has given me the courage to take the next step and now share my story with my family and friends. I cannot hide this any longer. I am who I am, with or without this disease. In the words of one of my wise new HIV+ friends, “I have nothing to be ashamed of.”
Thank you all for your continuing love and support. Happy Holidays!
Dear Jessica,
ReplyDeleteAlthough my heart breaks for you, at the same time I am so proud of you and impressed by your strength and your courage. You can either keep this to yourself or be transparent and vulnerable. The latter will serve to help you and others in incredible ways. You now have a powerful testimony that I know will not go to waste. There is a scripture in the Bible that says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28. I want to be clear, I don't believe God allowed this as much as I do believe that He will take our mistakes and use them for good. If you allow God to use your story for good (which you are)then lives will be inspired & transformed...yours included. When things happen to us we often ask "why", when you start asking, "what"...What do you want to do with this God? Then, and only then, can He use it for good. There is no doubt in my mind that He will use you powerfully Jessica. Thank you for sharing your story so openly and just know that your Aunt Sharon (and Ray, Olivia and Owen) will always be here for you...Praying for you, loving you and supporting you always. Peace to you as you move forward in this new chapter of your life. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year. I look forward to seeing what 2012 brings. Love, Aunt Sharon
You're absolutely right, you have nothing to be ashamed of, and the volunteers still out there (like me, PC Ukraine, TEFL, '11 - '13) will take strength from knowing you've got the courage to fight your disease and keep doing good in the world, even if you won't do it directly in Zambia. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and keep us informed - we're pulling for you!
ReplyDeleteAdam, from the HIV/AIDS Working Group
Thanks for sharing and you have nothing to be ashamed of.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas,
-Norm
I read your blog today. It broke my heart to see all that you have struggled with. Yet you are still so strong. I admire all the work you have done and all the work I know your going to do. You have changed so many people's lives and I know you will continue to change thousands more. You ae so right that you have nothing to be ashamed of. We miss and love you here in our little town of Seffner and will always be here for you!
ReplyDeleteI am following your blog. You are a beautiful. brave young woman. Stay strong and keep on keepi' on.......Cindy
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for having the courage to share your story. As a PCV currently serving in Cambodia, I am touched by your strength. Please know that your experiences are already being used to raise awareness and inform people's decisions, both in the US and abroad. Your story is one that breaks stereotypes and exposes all of us as being vulnerable. Please continue writing. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. I will be going to South Africa for Peace Corps later this month and will carry your words with me.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your story! I think you might have more to say, however, than "I have nothing to be ashamed of." Something bad happened to you. In addition to not being ashamed, can you also help others? Please tell us what you learned. What should we PCVs do or not do so we don't end up sick as well? Are we all robots who may end up in the same situation like you, or did you learn something from your experience that we all should know-- and do?
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost Thank you Jessica for sharing you experience. if your story prevents one person from making a bad decision you are a hero. AS a former RVPC 71 to 75 I was lucky to have missed the threat of Aids, however there were plenty forms of venereal diseases to go around. In fact we had the weird disease award monthly for volunteers coming in from their sites to the city for treatment.
ReplyDeleteMajority of cases coming from too much alcohol and visiting the ladies of the evening. Stupidity at its highest level but the loneliness and being in foreign country added to the stress of wanting human companionship.
I would assume today is not much different with the exception of the introduction of "AIDS". Only prevention is abstention totally and that's very unrealistic in this day and age. So whats a person to do?????? One has to weigh the risk and evaluate and take appropriate steps of safety.
Namely be honest and look for a partner and play house but before you do get tested for Aids and other forms of sex diseases. PC should provide free testing before service , during service and after service. One has to be responsible for one's future and Sex is a natural part of life and should be treated as such. We are adults not little children the real world requires testing and honesty. Old romantic med-evil concept of love is gone. Get real get tested get positive. Those who are HiV positive will find entire communities geared to dealing with and learning how to live with AIDS. Knowledge is power, power is the ability to control you life. Jessica you have allot of living to do you've made the first big step in dealing with it.
Thank you for sharing your story and journey Jessica! I am a current PCV serving in Grenada, Eastern Caribbean and know how real this is. As someone else said, it's so important for all PCV's to know the realities as well as everyone you are reaching by telling your story. We along with all PCV's around the world are fighting to create awareness and I have the utmost respect for your courage, strength and voice. It needs to be heard and you are a beautiful soul who has so much to give in this life! Peace and light to you!
ReplyDeleteYou are so brave! My name is Emmalee (RPCV Ecuador 09-11). I want to thank you for sharing your story. Your experience has the power to help prevention efforts throughout PC and beyond. Stay strong, we are pulling for you!
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica, My name´s Lauren (PCV Nicaragua 11-13). I´ve been following your PC journey for about a year--we both left for service around the same time, and I´m also participating in the Snapshots project. I knew you got med sepped, but I didn´t know why until I stumbled across your blog today. I´m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. It could have happened to anyone. Stay strong and thanks for putting this blog out there--you´re right--there´s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Best regards, Lauren
ReplyDeleteYou are so brave and I respect you so much. My name is Joon Woo Park, a volunteer of KOICA(Korean International Cooperation Agency) working in Paraguay as a extensionist for small farmers. I have some PCV friends and I've heard your story from them. As a volunteer like you my heart breaks and I hope that you stay strong. Thank you for sharing your story and I will go back to work for paraguayan small farmers and their sons and dauthers as you did in Zambia. You're right. Best regards, Joon Woo Park
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica, I'm Emily (PCV Senegal 11-13) and like Lauren, I'm participating in the Snapshots project and have been following your journey... your blog is so amazing and thank you for sharing your difficult story with us. Life is hard out here and things happen. There's no shame. Thanks so much and good luck!
ReplyDeleteJessica,
ReplyDeleteMy heart is heavy for you and the burden you now carry. I admire your bravery at going public with your new journey in life and I wish you well as this, my support is there for you!!!
I hope that your blog will be something that others not just PC read, understand, and act upon, your story is not new [I live in Zambia and see the social dynamics at play somtimes to be honest to my dismay], and if this blog helps one person or prevents a situation like yours happening again then it has achieved its purpose.
May you find strength to go forward with the support of all of us who read and follow your story!!!
Thank you for sharing your story which is of thousand of anonimous persons with fear to disclose their status and live a positive life. Is with example as yours that the stigma can be won. Thanks again and good luck on your journey.
ReplyDeleteYou are really inspiring with your courage and openness. Rock on.
ReplyDeleteHey Jess, I finally got the courage to read your blog. I am so incredibly proud of you. You are helping and educating so many young people, including my self. I love you for who you are. You are my role model. Hopefully, we'll see you soon!
ReplyDeleteHugs and kisses,
Grace
Hi Jessica,
ReplyDeleteFrom a fellow academically educated, white, hetrosexual, HIV+ female - all I can say, is go girl - keep up the good work, your positive, real messages are very refreshing, especially for another "white" girl in the stereotypical "non risk" group. Your face, gives power to say this virus can and will infect anyone who comes in its path. Stay health girl, and be happy :-)
Girl next door :-)
hello.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations for building up the courage to admit your condition. You are a great woman. Keep being as you are. Just be yourself . Love is LOVE no matter which illness we got !!
i've read a few articles on your webiste and i must say im overwhelmed. i m 26yo , poz for 4years now. when i first was diagnosed i thought it would be the end of the world but now i see in a different way. although sometimes still wish it didnt happened. it did affect my life in a various way and all you heard is people judging you, prejudice, even blaming you for our condition. although i got it from my partner in the pass. All could be avoid if the person you trust was sincere and honest at the point of telling you their real status.
Lately i thought of having a kid. im finding it hard to disclose my status to a friend who could be interested in insemination,i know i could go through a procedure called "sperm's wash". Although nowadays with all the new technology and support from Doctors, people are afraid of contracting the disease. People thing you can get it as easy as getting flu. it doesnt matter who much knowledge, scientist evidences and statistics you tell them. its disgusting for them that make them keep far away from you.
its gonna be hard to find someone i know to do it with . i was wondering if you could help me or even suggest someone who was willing to have a kid. or surrogate mother i dont know .
Phil
You are a real trooper. Reading your stories has inspired insurmountable amounts of confidence in my life. I wish you the very best, and pray that you'll continue to grow. Love.
ReplyDelete